Staying Sane

I know I’ve been severely slacking here. It’s not the only thing lacking my attention. Aside from daily laundry, cleaning, nursing, toddler meltdowns and overwhelming amount of diaper changes – life is flowing and the kids are happy.

I’ve heard it millions. The change from one to two little ones is huge. That’s an understatement. You have one set of eyes. And two kids. There’s no warm up here. Just game on.

I was thinking of writing about the regulated chaos of my daily life. Juggling a newborn and toddler. Instead, I thought of something more useful. The tiny things that have kept me sane. More relaxed. And able to enjoy this ever-so-short time with my babies.

So here it is. Some things that have kept the hair on my head. My eyes open. And my husband smiling at me. Well, most days.

1. Coffee. I’ve referenced my requirement for coffee before, but with the addition of Ella come night nursings and lack of sleep. I can’t complain. Ella’s slept at night since she was born. Sleeps in four-hour chunks. And only wakes to quickly eat. I know. I thank God daily. But, I’m still loosing sleep and now have two littles to occupy. Which means I need coffee to run.

2. Minus One.  Whenever possible, I leave a kid at home with Justin or a grandparent when it’s grocery shopping or errand time. Although Jack has stood tall with his newfound freedom in the world, it’s just so much easier to pack up one.  Dress one. Unload one. Carry one. And so on.

3.  Get Fresh. I still shower every day and apply at least the bare essentials of make up. My husband laughs, “Who are you going to see today? Getting pretty for the UPS guy.” But, putting on fresh sweatpants and mascara makes me feel fresh and accomplished. Which equals sound me and, therefore, happy kids. So, I try to shower before Justin leaves for work or at naptime. Making sure to leave room for a handful of minutes to just stand in hot water silence.

4. Play Time. The dishes can wait. The laundry won’t burn. So everyday I make sure to get on the floor and play with Jack. Yesterday we built a zoo of blocks for all the small spiders, snakes, dragons and animals he has.  Today we cooked rubber bands in his kitchen. One day, my Mom watched sleeping Ella while Jack and I built a snowman out front. My favorite is coloring. Amazing how rejuvenating crayons and books can be.

5. Read Anything. I love to read. And lately I’ve realized it’s not only my adult books, but also magazines, blogs, news and even children’s books. I’ll read at night after Jack’s asleep and Ella’s nursing. Jack and I’ve also gotten lost for an hour reading his books. I never thought it could be so relaxing. 

Preparing the Tot for Baby

Ask Jack if he’s excited to meet his baby sister.

“Yeeaaah,” he’ll enthusiastically respond. Drawing out the “aaah” with a bewildered smile.

While I don’t believe many responses the two-year-old has, this one I know for sure isn’t an informed one. He loves his six-month-old cousin. And helping with the babies at daycare. But this is different. This baby is entering his personal space. Suctioning his Mommy & Daddy time. And he has no idea.

I feel bad some days. Jack’s heart is easily readable. His feelings are extremely hurt when I don’t instantaneously respond to “Mommy look! Mommy look!” after he’s stacked spiders a top each other.

We’ve tried to “prepare him.” But how much can you prepare a toddler who has no concept of time and no clue what a “sister” is? He’s still learning to count. Can’t tie his shoes. Just mastered undressing & dressing himself. So how do we expect him to understand what’s about to happen?

So far, here’s what we’ve done to “prepare” him:

1. Every night we read The Berenstain Bears’ New Baby. The perfect present, Jack received it from my Aunt Kathy for his birthday.

2. Constantly talk about the new baby. Every time a new pink item arrives, we discuss how it’s for the baby girl in Mommy’s belly.

3. Had him help renovate the nursery.  From masking off the trim to putting the baby toys away (which he claimed as all his), Jack pitched in every place he could. Anyone who comes over gets a tour of the “baby’s room.”

4. Continuously reference to the “baby in Mommy’s belly.” Seems to have worked. He asks to feel the baby move all the time. When I put away the bottles last week, he asked “for the baby in Mommy’s belly?”

5. Moved him out of his crib many months before my due date. In fact, when we put the crib back up, he didn’t even blink.

And here’s our plan for after the baby arrives:

1. Present a gift from the baby once he meets her for the first time. Not sure why, but I’ve heard this works. Makes him feel special, right?

2. Let him help with the new baby any way he can. Giving the pacifier. Helping rock the baby. Putting a blanket on her. Whatever satisfies his little desires.

3. Arrange special alone time with the Nonnas, Papa, Mommy and Daddy. Just so he doesn’t feel so un-special.

4. Constantly compliment him on what a great older brother he is. He devours praise.

5. Try our hardest not to let the baby’s needs always come before Jack’s. Just because the baby is sleeping doesn’t mean Jack can’t go play outside. And if the baby cries, a few more minutes of ball with Jack won’t hurt before responding. Jack’s still important. He needs to see that.

So, that’s the plan. We’ll see how much it works once the reality is here. I remember all the things I said I’d never do as a parent. And, well, that’s a whole other post!